Let me preface this by saying I’m not talking about my relationship, but definitely speaking on previous ones. I definitely had a pattern of dating men that were emotionally damaged or completely unavailable. Very much used to the types of women that were emotionally abusive, physically abusive and the like. I never understood this cycle until I brought it up in my therapy and my therapist pointed out that because I was healing, I started to shine brighter and I had an understanding heart which attracts people that have been damaged by past relationships. I allowed people the time and space to work through these traumas because I didn’t require them to be accountable to what I needed. I blamed it on me moving on or getting bored, but really I was emotionally drained from these situations. I wanted to be there for these people but I couldn’t allow my emotional health to be depleted and that’s what my body was responding to before my brain caught up.

It’s important to me that I understand how someone communicates, how they love, how they want to be loved, and how they accept apology. A lot of these factors change, because people don’t always know what love looks like. Love is more than words and telling someone you care about them, it is largely shown in your actions and selflessness. Don’t lose yourself trying to love someone, and don’t force someone to love you the way you should be loved.

Ask yourself what you’re doing to heal and challenge yourself to look at love, not just romantic but all types of love. The best thing to ever happen to me was discovering my love language and repairing my heartbreaks.

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