For many big girls, clarity and self love doesn’t come until they understand the difference between sex and love. While it has never been a question of finding a man that wants to sleep with me, it is more of a question of them wanting to hold my hand in public afterwards. I confused men wanting to sleep with me for them wanting to be with me for far too long. I didn’t understand the difference until I let a man love me. He showed me a world I hadn’t seen before. He let the world know that I was his, I was more than a late night call, and that I was beautiful inside and out. Once you see that, you see the things in a different light. You get comfortable in your skin, familiar with turning down advances you’re not actually interested in, or being okay with single life. Knowing my self-worth, I would rather be single than with someone who doesn’t value my everything. My confidence was indeed tested, the negative remarks after I rejected someone, the lonely nights when I wanted to settle, or the slick talk of someone trying to fool me. With every challenge passed, I realized the strength in my conviction. I truly loved me first and now I know someone else can love me.

On my different social media pages, I get messages from women complimenting my confidence and love of self. They always seem to start the same though, “I wish I was as confident as you are”. As flattering as that may sound, I always tell them the same thing, “you can be, it just takes time and patience”. You have to face your inner demons before you can face the outside forces.

I won’t spew that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you line, because that’s unfair. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s not the only way either.

The hardest thing to work through and overcome is depression, mental illness, and straight up loneliness. Words of encouragement are hard to come by and if you ever need some please don’t hesitate to ask for support. I don’t know everyone that follows me or hell…even friends of friends on here, but I am no stranger to depression and loneliness, so if you just need an ear to listen or vent or just need some moral support you’re not getting.

I AM HERE FOR YOU!

You are worth the effort!

You are worth the time!

You are special to this world!

You would be very missed!

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